I am going to be home in less than 10 days. Holy crap! How did 6 months pass so quickly? Looking back on my entries, I’ve realized that I’ve made my LJ into a vent-fest against Italy. Though there have been many downs, there have also been many ups (on a side note, during orientation back in March, we were given a piece of paper with a sine curve on it. I’m sure there were some words on this flier too, but not very many. We were told, “The experience is like a roller coaster. Sometimes you’ll have the time of your life and other times you’ll feel really depressed.” Really? No way! You mean that studying abroad is like, life or something? Trees died just so you could fill a whole paper with 1 sine curve! But I digress…)
Milan is an amazing city. Though not as esthetically pleasing as Rome, it is much faster and more modern. I have come to realize that I only function well in a big city. I have found some kindred spirits and will miss them dearly. The general public is more aware of current events. “There are only 2 things people talk about in Italy: football and politics.” Many have passionate debates about their government. The newspapers always have something about politics on the front page. Many Americans voted for Bush because he represented ‘family values’. I know I will also be constantly cursing Bart and dreaming about efficient $20 a month public transportation. Food and drink here is generally superb (as long as one stays away from the tourist traps). Because the dishes are so simple, emphasis is put on the quality of the ingredients. Though Bocconi is a little inefficient and a little broken, I am comparing it to Berkeley. This seems a bit unfair, and Bocconi ‘sucks’ only because Berkeley is ‘average’.
I’m certain that I have changed somehow, but I can’t exactly explain in what way. I feel…more sad, somehow disappointed in the world in general. I always assumed that people were generally nice to each other. Little subtleties like offering assistance with luggage/bags, giving up seats to those who need them more, opening doors (regardless of gender), saying ‘thank you’ and ‘please’. We live in such a bubble in America, California, Berkeley. Of course we are aware that there is suffering, hunger, war, pain, but I did not think that the values of 2 first world countries would be so different. I have never been so aware of my sex, my ethnicity, my social standing. In England you are judged by your accent. One who drops vowels and endings to words (it sounds a bit Scottish) is clearly uneducated and of the lower class. The classic Victorian accent represents the opposite.
Though I am looking forward to returning, I am afraid to leave. I have grown accustomed to the relaxed lifestyle. What will happen when I am thrown back into what I consider ‘real life’? Will I fulfill all my responsibilities and make all my deadlines? I feel so old. I know I say this every year but I really really do. This is the point where I need to find a real job, start discovering what I want to do, etc etc. Suck. Why can’t I remain in this fantasy world? I’d kill myself out of boredom. In any case, there is no way to stop the approach of The Day. The only thing I can do is start packing up my life. Again.
Europe is an amazing place, for so many reasons both good and bad. I really envy the perspectives you’ve gained. Of course, we’ll all be really happy to see you back in Berkeley. =)
I’ll be glad to be back. But I hear there’s some hussie who’s taking over my turf. Can I have her?
Do you mean Bonnie? I get the impression you could have anyone you wanted. =)
She was clearly referring to Mrauser. What with the presidency and the hussiness and all. I guess she did write “her” but I mean, it’s an easy mistake to make. He wears Hello Kitty clothing when no one is looking. Honestly!