Feeling new
Celebratory cupcakes
Every time this date rolls around I start to stress. Should I be further in my career? What am I doing with my life? Is this the right path? Am I happy? The thoughts, worries, second-guessings eat away at me for weeks on end. I am cranky, temperamental, and long for the days when I was younger. This year, these feelings crept into my life months before the dreaded date. This year, I decided to apply my nervous energy into working on the sub-optimal components of my life.
I now feel comfortable and happy staying at home while others go out. Gone is the creeping feeling that I am missing out on something if I am not constantly social. As of today, my credit cards are completely paid off, and I’d like to keep it that way for a long time. I am learning to willingly sludge through chores because they ultimately benefit me, despite my inclination to crawl into bed and nap. I guess this is what it means to be an adult. Those darn responsibilities. There is a long road ahead, and with society’s emphasis on youth, I sometimes need to remind myself that experience and maturity is far more valuable than physical beauty.
Despite all this growing up, I refuse to let go of youth. Youth in the sense of appreciating beauty, trying new things, enjoying simple pleasures. After so many years of feeling old, this is the first time I feel new.
Happy birthday to me.
Happy birthday, Karen!
November 21st, 2008 at 5:29 am
Happy Birthday to you Karen! And keep up with those wonderful Videos! Your muffin looked Yummy-Chubby-Chubby-Chummy.
Best
Zeno
November 21st, 2008 at 8:04 am
Yes, Happy Birthday!!! Hope you enjoyed it. Love your perspective!
November 21st, 2008 at 2:44 pm
I remember 25. I was kind of like you were, pissed off for weeks leading up to it cause i thought i should be at another place in life. And also there was something about knowing i was going to be a quarter century old!
Then the day came and went and i realized everything was going to be ok. And later I was ecstatic when i got a letter from my insurance company telling me the my car insurance decreased by nearly 20%!!! So I then realized 25 wasn’t that bad…
Anyway… Happy birthday!!!
November 21st, 2008 at 4:04 pm
@daniel @zeno @katie thanks guys! I had a great birthday.
@James Now I completely understand the feeling. I don’t have a car, but won’t get charged extra when renting a car anymore. Can’t wait to rent my next car.
November 21st, 2008 at 9:43 pm
@Karen You DONT have a car! How do you…Go places? Maybe you can get away with that in SF, but here, not owning a car puts you on the same level as living in a box under a bridge!
November 21st, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Oh man, you got it in my eye…. So worth it though.
November 26th, 2008 at 2:33 am
@james public trans is not terrible in San Francisco. I live near a major transit line, so it’s never been a problem
@clintus
hope you could clean out the frosting in your eye
November 26th, 2008 at 3:17 am
I don’t know why society is so obsessed with youth. Sure it’s more exciting, but that’s generally because it sucks. I love being married and having kids. I love being able to save up money. Getting old is cool.
December 11th, 2008 at 7:33 am