me: If we had 4 fingers, last year would have been a big deal
dennis: You’re right. *pretends to break my thumb off with sound effects kishhh ahhhh!*

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This American Apparel cranberry vneck tshirt features an adorable zombie cupcake, complete with brain frosting and a drooling desire for braaaaainnns. The little zombie hungrily stares at your sweet, juicy cranium from his comfortable spot over your heart.

Instantly fall in love with this innocent cat-octopus-cupcake. He lives on the bottom left corner of a light blue American Apparel sheer jersey cap sleeve raglan. The bold orange color really makes him pop. His name is Catapus and he’s looking for a happy home.

They are designed by Robot Octopus aka Tom. He is a great artist who I’ve known for a long time. I’m very excited to be collaborating with Tom on this project, not only because he is wonderfully gifted but he’s also as sweet as these cupcakes.

More pics of the shirts here. You can order either (or both!) of these shirts below. We made a tiny run of these shirts so get one while they’re still available. I have some other colors that I will release in the coming weeks. Thanks for your support!

Sugar Fiends

Zombie Cupcake: cranberry vneck – xsmall $30.00 Zombie Cupcake: cranberry vneck – small $30.00 Zombie Cupcake: cranberry vneck – medium $30.00 Zombie Cupcake: cranberry vneck – large $30.00 Zombie Cupcake: cranberry vneck – xlarge $30.00 Catapus: blue raglan – small $25.00 Catapus: blue raglan – medium $25.00 Catapus: blue raglan – large $25.00 Catapus: blue raglan – xlarge $25.00

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Blue Raglan measurements from shoulder to shoulder (including cap sleeves)
S – 15.75”
M – 16”
L – 16.25”
XL – 16.5”

Cranberry vneck measurements from shoulder to shoulder
XS – 15″
S – 16.5”
M – 18”
L – 20.5”
XL – 21.25”

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<~~~~ feed me, om nom nom

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From Vanessa:

How to attract a real loser

There’s plenty of advice out there about what to do to attract a great guy, but sometimes it’s easier to understand what not to do. Therefore, from a wealth of personal experience–my own and that of some other battle-scarred ladies–I’ll share with you an easy five-step plan for attracting–and holding on to!–a real loser.

From Terry:

Love is a Fallacy

It is not often that one so young has such a giant intellect. Take, for example, Petey Bellows, my roommate at the university. Same age, same background, but dumb as an ox. A nice enough fellow, you understand, but nothing upstairs. Emotional type. Unstable. Impressionable. Worst of all, a faddist. Fads, I submit, are the very negation of reason. To be swept up in every new craze that comes along, to surrender oneself to idiocy just because everybody else is doing it—this, to me, is the acme of mindlessness.

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I wake up in a panic for the 4th night in the past 7 days. Needless to say, life has been a little stressful lately.

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I only check my mail at most once a month. The first Monday of each month I realize that my bus pass has expired and I frantically (because, naturally, I’m running late that day) dig through the pile of mail in my garage to find the ‘wage works’ envelope. This process is my monthly reminder that I need to clean the garage floor of mail.

Back in November I received a bill from my medical center. Since I had paid them previously online I went through the simple and easy method of paying them again. Yay internet. When I checked my mail the next time I found several invoices for the same bill. I simply ignored them. They started to call me. The pleasant automated voice told me it was the accounts receivable department regarding —- (yes, they never told me exactly why they called). After a few phone calls I finally found some time to call them back. Naturally, no one picked up and I left a message. I continued to receive and ignore automated calls and letters about the bill supposedly I didn’t pay. I secretly hopped that if I waited long enough it would magically work itself out. That didn’t happen.

Last night I found a very threating letter from the medical center; It basically told me I was about to be sent to collections. Having dealt with collections in the past (pg & e put me in collections for not paying a $5 bill and I only found out years later when I ran a credit report), I knew that I had to call them.

The process was surprisingly painless. This morning I finally called the accounts department again and I learned that the ‘account number’ on the bill is actually an ‘invoice number’; It changes with every visit. When I paid through my online bank, it went to the wrong invoice and I had a credit on that ‘account’. It also turned out that my payment for the first ‘account’ had been forwarded to a different department for some unknown reason. Yippee. At least it’s over and they didn’t stick me with a “We sent you a dozen letters and called you 20 times” fee.

This whole ordeal brought to the forefront my inability to deal with paper (and fear of talking on the phone). Even if I check my mail more often this would have happened anyway. Paper is the bane of my existence. If I can’t do it online immediately, I can’t do it for weeks.

The tax filing deadline is just around the corner and I am scrambling to get my papers in order. Perhaps I need to get a self help book.

My concern about the bill manifested itself into a stressful dream.

I’m back in school and it’s halfway through the semester. I have just found out that I need one more science class in order to graduate. It’s almost impossible to get into a class when it’s more than half over. I pick out a course that one of my cs buddies is ta-ing and sit in on the class. The prof is a tall beautiful no-nonsense woman. At the end of class I approach her, heart racing, palms sweaty.

“I’m really interested in your class blah blah can I just enroll and make up all the work for the first half of the semester?” I end up telling her that I am desperate to get into the class and I won’t graduate otherwise.

She stares at me and says, “How could you not know you needed another science class? What is wrong with you? Are you a theater major?”

At which point I get incredibly pissed and start yelling at her. “How dare you? What does a theater major have to do with anything? You think you’re better than me.” I blew any chance of graduating.

It’s funny how many of my worries come out as dreams about school. I guess that going through college was one of the most stressful experiences I’ve had so far.

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Last time I saw the eclipse I was sitting on soft cool sand between the man and the esplanade. Millions of stars twinkled around me, unfazed by the flaming art pieces scattered around our slice of desert. As the moon was completely covered, we heard shouting, commotion, and trucks kicking huge puffs of dust as they hurried past. A bullhorn: “The man is on fire! Everyone turn around. The man is burning!”

What a night.

The next lunar eclipse is three years from now, so it’s worth stepping outside. You can look at it directly without blinding yourself. The moon will be completely eclipsed from 7:01 – 7:51pm pacific. Aside from it’s beauty, you never know what could happen.

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Most people I know dislike Valentine’s Day (aka Singles Awareness Day). The hype, expectations, pressure, disappointment, blah blah blah. Women freak out about being single, or finding the perfect lingerie for their imperfect bodies. Men flail around helplessly trying to figure out which Hollywood fantasy to mimic (dinner out, or a home cooked meal, or how about a picnic? How many blood diamonds should be in the bracelet? Wine/flowers/chocolate?) In in attempt to prevent me from buying this shirt, I reached out to the community for support.

Failure. I returned to the store to buy it, but they were out of my size. Instead of simply walking away, I went home and bought it online. Double fail. This doesn’t make me hate the cheesy holiday any less, even though I have become less cynical over the years. In the past, I worked late and then ran home to hide from all the out of town couples crowding the streets and restaurants. This year I may end up spending Thursday beating the crap out of someone(s).

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Whew! Adobe max was great. I met a few fantastic people, including my east coast self, Ed Finkler. Terry, though flattering, is quite delusional as I am not anywhere as badass as Ed. Turns out that Grant Skinner (hotshot flash dude,) looks just like Scott Blonde from the back/side. I almost died when he turned and smiled at me, and then I realized it wasn’t Scott. It would have been neat to chat with Grant, except what would I say? “Hi, uhh, your blog has saved my ass…Do you have any maple syrup?”

Being there made me think that Adobe was the best company in the world, and everything they did was heaven-sent. The sneak-peek was probably my favorite event (see video. It contains little snippets about Visual Communicator, Photoshop Express, flash 10 features and Seam Carving), though I couldn’t tear myself away from the conference with all the fantastic talks.

In such a male-dominated industry, I feel like I should be wary of people who approach me, but meeting new people is _so awesome_. I love making new friends, but no, I’m not going to make out with anyone outside of a club who I met at a conference.

So here’s my creative solution: colored bracelets. Green indicates single and yellow indicates not single. Unsingle people can wear yellow. This idea is directly inspired by stoplight parties (Remember back in those college days where your shirt color indicated availability? Ya, those parties). If we were clearly marked, people could talk to each other with fewer assumptions. One problem I can see is that one green person may have trouble approaching another green person because #1 doesn’t want #2 to assume attraction.

I don’t think any conference would encourage such a rule, but it would be an interesting experiment. Perhaps the solution is better applied to the ‘looking for investors’ and ‘looking for investments’ problem. At least this would be applicable (and useful!) to more conference people than the single/not single problem.

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